Coffee Share 210424: A Day of Rest

This is a Weekly Coffee Share Essay.
I’m part of a small group of bloggers who stay in touch and chat about blogging, writing, or just about anything else that might be of interest.
Link to This week’s full list
Link to my Story Blog:  Table of Contents.

The pre-dawn morning is crisp and cold again in West Sonoma County, California, but most days are turning into bright sunny noon times, so spring is here as far as I’m concerned.

Today is going to be different. I have very little time so my visit must be short.

We had a death in the family. He was elderly and his passing was expected, but it was still world shaking as he was a huge personality for our family, much loved, much laughed with, strong opinions and a fascinating history that colored almost everything he did, but today we are driving 2 hours to say good bye and to console his immediate family just by being there to commemorate his loss.

Death remains one of those things we can and should talk about, each time it comes near, but I don’t want to go there as I too have strong opinions that you are welcome to know, but I won’t presume here that you do.  I’m more interested in going and being a part of recalling a special person who in the most rowdy way possible welcomed me as that Christian guy who joined their Catholic family by marrying one the older nieces. By doing so, I rattled a few cages, but this guy, arguably the most “CATHOLIC” of the group was the most welcoming of them all,

What I would like to call out today — is that there is something about the new InLinkz system that is not working well for me and I suspect you.  Tell me, when you post your essays, are you being given the chance to use any of the photos you included as your post photo on the coffee share list, or are some being left out?

I suspect it is a photo size thing and that some of my photos are too big for the current system. Okay then.  Let me just leave that item here as I want to tie it to another item.

For those who have been part of the coffee share since the mid 2020s, back when Alli was our host, we averaged a decent number of guests and it was easy to visit with each.  Now, with Natilie’s work, we have likely doubled the attendance (which I love BTW) except that it’s hard to find the person who you want to make sure you don’t miss each week.

So here’s my big item for thought this week. A couple of our members already use the same photo which I so appreciate because I simply don’t have time to read all the essays of our now larger group. I propose that as many of us as are inclined to do so, select and use and reuse a selfie that makes it easier for us to find you each week.  This would solve the first problem and the second in one swoop of adding a helpful piece of media. Going forward, you’ll see my mug as the inviting photo hoping that you’ll stop by for a visit.  I’ll likely keep my “Featured photo of BB, one of our backyard Blue Belly Lizards – just because he is so adorable.

Okay, it’s time to get dressed for the road. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

I’ll be around to visit your share later after the funeral.

Blessings all! 

GW bio card 4

24 thoughts on “Coffee Share 210424: A Day of Rest

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss. I love how you describe him as the most Catholic yet the most welcoming person of all. It’s important that we love one another despite our differences.

    As for the linky, I have absolutely no feedback on that as I don’t select any photos to go with my links.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Gary
    Sorry for your loss. May his memory be forever a blessing and may your heart know peace.
    I’ve started using my name in the coffee post title “Dinah’s Coffee Chat” exactly for the reasons you discussed.
    Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Gary, My condolences to you and your family as you go through this huge loss. As the circle of life goes, these things are certainly inevitable but never easy. Thank you for sharing today, especially under these circumstances. ❤
    I haven't had any complaints with my photos on linky that we use so I am assuming that all is good on that front. I am not sure of the problem, they all show up when I add my link so the sizing might be the problem for you? I hadn't thought of a photo to identify who we all are, or use my name in the header like some have done. I could start labeling mine "Diana's Coffee Share" but I have always titled it the same way each time and I think you have found me easily enough – but I do see what you mean! I hope all goes well this weekend and I hope you have a good week ahead. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I too put my name with the post so my essays are fairly easy to find. I do like the simple use each week of a selfie, and given how visual many folks are, I think it will work better than putting my name in the label which I’ve been doing for years.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am sorry for your loss.

    I haven’t had any issues with photos on the Inlinkz, but then I usually don’t post many and almost always resize them before posting. When I do Friday Fictioneers, I always use the same photo, the “header” image on my blog. Inlinkz doesn’t pick that up, so I manfully upload it every week. Not a problem.

    And thinking of that, I know I can be a pain, but… 😉 I have used the rotating image that depends on location and time of year since 2014 when I joined the coffee share. OK, I guess I can keep that rotating image at the top and not sue it for Inlinkz, perhaps using the same I use for Friday Fictioneers. I do often “mouse-over” an image and it will tell me the URL, so if I am looking for someone, I often do that, but it is not an easy way to find everyone.

    I hope you have a good week.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. My heart is holding you close this week, Gary. May your family feel God’s hands around you. I like your idea of using the same photo every week. I’ll have to think about one. I like my owl mug, so maybe it needs to make some traveling excursions for photo ops. 🙂 As you’ve probably noticed, I went back to my sketch for my WP page. I had many say that they were confused by my change to Leahmae’s photo. That said, I really like my sketch. I wish inlinz would let me post with it every week. Maybe I’ll have to include it with my post so that I can use it. I’ve not had the issue you mentioned, though. Oh, we’re still waiting for the job info. HR did get back with us with an update that Hubby is still in the running, and that management is still narrowing down candidates. Sigh…it’s taking ever so long…. I’m impatient. I’ve actually kept my phone turned on all week for the last couple of weeks as we wait so Hubby can call the minute he finds out. I’m not a big fan of phones (never had one until marriage), so for me to do this is really out of the ordinary, but shows how much we really want this job to BE.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Bear for those prayers. The service went very well. Lots of family to get updated with and almost all the children of this cousin or that have turned into young adults. It was eye popping.
      I’m pretty sure the issue with InLinkz is related to photo size for the featured photo having been changed (reduced) recently. I’ll likly continue just using whatever I want for the featured photo so anyone who reads my essay sees what I intended, but I’ll also include my photo so I can easily use it for the InLinkz photo and I’ll be easy to find..
      BTW, I too like your sketch. It would make you stand out.
      Finally, a sigh. . . You guys are being left out there swinging in the wind waiting for management to get their act together.
      When I interviewed for Amazon in Seattle they promised me a decision by the end of the day of my interview, and they delivered — thanks, but no thanks –, and I was grateful because I was wondering if I would have the strength to turn them down. During the interviews, I learned some things I did not like, but I really needed the job, so now I’ll never know what I would have done. I would have had to move my family from Calif. to Wash, which was fine, but would have been hard financially.
      Hang in there. It’s a terrible process on hanging out there waiting, but this is how most companies work it seems.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. With the type of job he’s seeking, the wait is almost expected. There’s a lot, and I mean a ton, of red-tape and hoops to get through to qualify. We’re trying to just take it one day at a time, and are ever so grateful that HR has kept us up to date. That, at least, is hope. If we get it, there is some amount of job security that we don’t have now, and a rather impressive benefits package to boot. So, it’s worth the wait. I’m thinking I may have packed and purged just a bit too soon, is all.


  6. Sorry for you loss Gary!

    I agree with you that death is something we can and should taking about. Growing up it was frowned upon to talk about someone we had lost in fear of upsetting someone. I struggled with this because I love the memories and the stories. We have lost 9 loved ones in the last 7 years and with my boys being so young they initially had so many questions and I can’t tell you enough how much their willingness to talk and ask questions help me through and now there is a lovely open communication about the experience of death and about each person we have lost. Sometimes their questions are surprising, and I will share this one and then end my long winded typing. When our 8 month old nephew passed in February my 10 year old asked me with reference to how young George was, “Mom what was George’s purpose here?” It was an unexpected question and I had to sit back and scratch my head before I answered that I am sure he had a number of purposes but one was to bring us all joy and love.

    I love the idea of a fixed Coffee Share image. I personally started doing it because Trent was doing it and I liked being able to go to my reader and see it was Trent and his Coffee post; I was hopefully that it would have the same effect when I started doing it…

    Anyway, my condolences again to you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Shari and thanks for your kind words.
      My daughter is well known for her bluntness about such things too. When she was very young and my wife’s father died a rather ugly death from an illness he did not bother to try to exercise much self-care, I knew my little girl was going to want to know certain things about her grandfather being in a closed box at the funeral because it was too hard to make him presentable, so I worked at coming up with an explanation suitable to her age. One morning she walked into the kitchen and asked me if she would “see” grandpa at the funeral.
      I knelt down and began my well-thought-out response. Her eyes betrayed that she was not getting the information she wanted, so I kept trying to adjust, but she kept signalling that what I was saying was not what she wanted to know.
      Finally, I said . . . so his casket will be closed — and she interrupted me to say, “Okay, I just wanted to know if I was going to see my first dead body,” and off she bounced.
      After 26 years, it’s still hard to answer some of her questions.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Like your suggestion on the photo, will do better on the next post. Glad the remembrance service went well, but sorry to hear of the loss. I hope the happy memories come through the sad thoughts soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I’m sorry for your loss, Gary.
    I haven’t noticed any problems with photos for InLinkz but I suspect I don’t get the option to choose any of them since I sometimes use lots of photos in a post and I don’t recall seeing all of them to choose from.
    Your idea of having one “default” picture is good. I’ve seen that some people do that and it’s actually very convenient although I try to at least visit all of them to see if there’s something nice I might be missing otherwise. I totally understand that everyone doesn’t have the time to do that though.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. My sympathies on your family’s loss. It’s never easy. Will be holding you and your family in the Light.

    Is a good idea. I will to back to always using my photo of Thaddeus for the linking page. I confess to having a list of people whose Coffee Shares I read routinely. I cannot get to everyone’s and so must pick and choose. On weekends, time is at a premium.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Lizl.
      You & I are in the same boat.
      I lost most of Sat to the funeral and will be trying to catch up on coffee shares starring tomorrow but can’t finish them all on a clear weekend.
      Yours, I will find though.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi Gary, I’m sorry for your loss.
    Re the pics – I try to use the same pic each week although this week I had a different one. Photos act like an anchor and I also look for those that I don’t want to miss; the same pic makes them easy to identify (I also don’t always have time to go thru all of the entries although I like to). My titles have the same syntax though – it is always The ‘so-and-so’ Edition.
    Wishing you a wonderful week.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Regina & thanks.
      I agree. Thinking of the photos as anchors makes sense. They are often used to attract attention but I think the coffee shares are more about relationships and I want to quickly find those friends I’m getting to know and not miss them because there so many in the group now.
      BTW, you have a great headset with a welcoming smile.


  11. Always enjoy your posts Gary! So sorry about your relative passing. I had to chuckle about your catholic comment. I grew up Catholic (both sides of the family) but when I was in HS I started going to a non denominational church. My mom was fine with it and actually started going too, but boy did it make a few waves with some family members…lol. Have a great week. I always use the same photo every week on mine. It’s not of me, but it’s the same one. It’s a photo of a coffee I had while in Europe in 2019. I try hard to visit everyone, but sometimes it’s hard.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kirstin. Thanks for those kind words. My wife was raised catholic but she went to church with me once and struggled but never looked back, so yea, my arrival to her family had a few strained moments that we see about now. Her uncle was who passed and he was a catholic priest for a while but things got interesting and he started a family of his own. He was one of those who welcomed me to the family right off.
      May he RIP.


  12. I am so sorry for your loss, Gary. I understand your point about the link up. I don’t know if this is the case with you or not, but if I hover my cursor over the photo of a linked post, I get a url, so I can see who the post belongs to. I will try to remember to post profile photo on this link up.

    Liked by 1 person

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