Helping Her Reach Higher

There was barely a wisp of a cool breeze pushing her hair about. Her eyes confirmed that she was both scared and resolved. The mid-morning cloudless sky was pure and fully transparent giving us a view that stretched for tens of miles of the heavily treed woods, all below us from this sole high pinnacle of rock while being warmed by the new day sun. It was a perfect day to step over the edge of a cliff.

“Okay. You’re ready. Keep that part of the rope in your hand and hold it tight against this part – well above your rig. Spread your legs, good.  Just a bit wider, yea, perfect, now lean slightly back against the rope, gently feed the rope through the rig and slowly walk backwards to the edge. You’re doing great, perfect. The next step will be the hardest but take it as slow as you want. I call it edge-phobia and it might be the biggest thrill of the day. It will feel like you’re about to fall, but you can’t. You’re fully tied in. Once you start down the face of the cliff, it will be much easier and then it will be pure fun all the rest of the way down.”

She looked uncomfortable but held the rope as I showed her as she baby-stepped her way backwards towards the edge. “Damn – this is sooooo scary”. I could almost feel the drop in air pressure as she sucked in a huge breath and settled into position to go down over the edge.

“You’re doing great. As you go over the edge, keep your legs spread wide andlet your fanny drop while keeping your feet high, about level with your stomach.  You can lean back if you like. It actually helps a bit. Okay, stop right there and let me make sure Joseph is ready with the camera.” Holding the other rope, I stepped to the edge and yelled down to verify that he was set.

Her deep brown eyes locked on mine and told me exactly what she was feeling; I’m both on the edge of this cliff and the edge of sheer panic.

“Gary, remind me how much you love me. . .”

“You’re my beautiful and playful gal who trusts me enough to step over the edge of a cliff. You’re smart, you’ve paid attention and intellectually know what you’re doing. The only thing between you and a great memory is the fear of a wholly new adventure.  What’s not to love about you?”

“You really need to work on your pickup lines. I am so scared right now.”

“You don’t have to do this you know.”

She glanced backwards into the open space, down through the forest canopy to the ground between the cliff and trees, maybe seventy feet below her. She looked back at me, and I could see the resolve return to her eyes. “No – no. I want to do it. I CAN do it. You were right though. Going over the edge is freaking me out. I want to scream and run, but you made it look easy, so – I’m going to finish this.”

~     ~    ~

Not long after my audacious birthday gift stunt (see that story here) my best friend from trade school, Joseph and his girlfriend were talking to one of their friends about this guy who enjoyed doing unusual and audacious things who enjoyed life to the fullest. I would have disputed some of their claims, but I wasn’t there and by the time I heard anything about it, Joseph and his girlfriend had me paired up with this great little Filipino gal named, Elaine Peters. They were all still living in San Francisco, but I had moved to San Jose to be within easy commute to my first real job in the computer industry, so it took some planning to get all of us together.

Joseph arranged a few dinners which turned into double dates and soon we were two couples out for some fun times together. They had an agenda that I didn’t see at the time which involved getting me talking about the various passions I had for having fun. Very high on my list at the time (late 1975) was rappelling down steep slopes, cliffs and the walls of vertical caves. I described how I had purchased all the rope and gear needed for myself and a partner. It must have inspired Elaine because suddenly she leaned toward me and asks if I can teach her how to do it.

She had these fun and extremely compelling eyes. I was quick to learn when she wanted to do something, It was best to either help her or get out of her way. I chose to make sure she had a good and safe time going over the edge of one of my favorite cliffs and here’s how it turned out.

She and Joseph arrived at my apartment early that Saturday morning with her decked out in an old pair of bib overalls and warm shirts because the weather looked like it might get moist.

Soon enough, we were up the mountain and in the parking lot for Castle Rock State Park. After a short hike and climb to the top, we had the ropes laid out and she was standing with her back to the edge, facing me and controlling the gear herself. With only one small scream, she was over the edge and comfortably suspended against the face of the cliff doing exactly as I had told her. She was also safe because if anything went wrong, Joseph was belaying and knew how to stop her from moving down the rope if needed.

She looked up at me as she slipped over the edge. I watched the panic quickly drain away and her huge smile return. She was loving this.

We didn’t have a photo of the exact spot she went down, but this photo is pretty close. What an amazing view and place to rappel!

“Keep your legs spread against the rocks so you don’t lose your balance and smash into the cliff face.” She glanced up and smiled as she got comfortable balancing against the rock wall rather than a floor. “Very good. Now ease up and the rope and let your body weight pull the rope through the rig slowly but keep your feet against the wall.”

She fumbled with this step as her butt dropped below her feet. But on a first trip down the side of a cliff with only an unfamiliar rope keeping you from falling; everyone struggles at this point when learning how to rappel. Nothing about it feels rational. Your inner ear will protest and scream at you about losing your balance.

She caught on and eased herself down the rock wall. I watched her from above until I was sure she made it to a small ledge where she could sorta stand. “Okay. Tighten up on the rope and lock yourself in place. Stay right there until I come around to the bottom.”

This giant rock formation had plenty of fully vertical cliff faces mixed with small lips where a newbie can pause, get her bearings and enjoy the moment, oh, and yes, that’s her loving boyfriend way up at the top cheering her on.

I dashed down the trail to take over for Joseph, then he took my place at the top . “Okay Elaine. You’re doing great so we’re going to try that emergency stop I told you about.” Whenever you’re ready, let go of everything and just fall backwards.”

But picture this. You’re a city person, rarely exposed to this much outdoors oxygen and this is your first time on the edge of a cliff with a guy you mostly trust but really haven’t known for very long. Getting down as far as you have already has your heart pounding and your inner ear wondering what in the world you’re doing. Now you’re supposed to fling yourself back into the void, let go of everything and trust that guy way down on the ground and his gear to keep you from dying.

I would have paused if it had been me and Elaine did, but only long enough to steel her resolve once again and take a deep breath. I could see her face enough to see that she was frightened but determined to get the full thrill of this experience. She turned back to the rock face and simultaneously let go of the rope with both hands, just like she had lost consciousness, flung herself backwards and (my favorite part) screamed like she was falling to her death.
Wow! There she goes. . .

I immediately did my part to belay her by leaning hard on the rope. The addition of my weight below the rappelling rig stopped the rope from passing though the rig so she fell no more than 4 feet but when she stopped, she was hanging from the harness around her waist. Her version of this exercise was a spectacular upside-down wild spider spread that Joseph caught a photo of.

Oh Yea!

Now this is how you show a gal a great time!

I lowered her slowly to the ground where she laid for a few moments trying to catch her breath and her composure – but her smile – it took over her whole face. It, was, PRICELESS! Elaine looked wonderful draped in trail dust and adrenalin all trimmed out with victory.

After a couple more descents, she really got the hang of it, there were no more screams of panic. Finally, we took a lunch break and talked things over. Elaine decided her memory of the day was great but incomplete.  Now she wanted to complete the experience by climbing back up, which I knew to be a much more demanding task.

“Okay then, let’s do this.” I switched out her descending gear with climbing gear.
My equipment was one of the types used by cave explorers – like others in the same club I was in. Cavers can’t count on having a climbable wall, so we use variations of a setup based on Gibbs Ascenders. In short, you wear straps around both feet that go up to where you can manually move alternate ascenders, then lean on one while you move the other. With a little practice, they allow you to use the strength of your legs to ‘walk up the rope’ instead of using your arms to pull yourself up the rope. They work great but can be a challenge when you have to cross any kind of ledge where the rope doesn’t hang free.
After demonstrating how to do it, I got her all strapped in and explained how it worked. “See this cam? It easily lets the rope pass through going up but putting any weight on it from your feet lock it against the rope so you can essentially stand on it. Then you raise you’re your other foot while standing on the first one. So, your arms and feet have to work together but your legs do all the hard work.”

She nodded because seeing it in action really makes it easy to understand.

“It’s almost like climbing really steep stairs with handrails for both hands.”

Elaine was tired, but still flying high on her success coming down. I tried to tell her that going back up was less of a thrill and a lot more work, but wisely did not try to talk her out of trying. She remained determined to try. With one more check of her knots and gear, I said “off with you then”.

She started well because it was just rope hanging over a high lip. She quickly got the hang of it, got past a smaller lip and arrived at the tougher one. Climbing over it though proved to be more than she could handle.  Pretty quick I realized she was in trouble and was not going to be able to sort it out.  That was the bad news.  The good news was that Joseph caught most of the action on film.

I free climbed to where she was stuck and pulled her to safety. Fortunately, I was just able to reach her from that lower lip that she did get past and found that she’d caught a glove in one of the ascenders. Okay, that was a new problem for me, but we sorted it out as soon as I got her over where I could help. You can see how bunched up she was in the photo.

Once back on the ground, she was finally tired enough to admit that this part had beaten her, and she was ready to call it a day.

You have to agree – isn’t she adorable just hanging there?I

Some gals just look great in wear-and-tear.

Well, time moves on and several years after we realized that our relationship was not a good long-term match, we parted as friends. Later still, I was talking with Joseph by phone and asked how Elaine was doing. “She was so much fun. Tell me that life turned out great for her”.

“Oh – no one must have told you. I should have. Sorry Gary, but she died about a year ago.”

“Say what? She died? How?”

“Gary, she had lupus. She had it when you two were dating.”

“What? How could I not know this?”

“She made us promise not to tell you. She didn’t want anyone, including you, pitying or babying her because of her disease. She knew her time was short, and she wanted to grab as much of life as she could while she could. You helped her do that. She talked about that day we took her rappelling for years”.

I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about this. I easily understood not wanting to be babied for something like this, and just wanting to have as normal a life as possible, but wasn’t this the kind of thing a boyfriend should know?

Joseph told me, “I guess she didn’t want you to worry about loving someone who already knew she was dying. She wanted to enjoy your time together without her disease being part of the picture.”

Would I have been a good boyfriend if I’d known this? I was pretty young and dumb. I do wish that someone would have told me when she passed. I had to settle with writing her folks a belated condolences letter. Despite how long ago it was for them. I had to let them know what an amazing lady she was and how much I valued having known her.

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♥       RIP Elaine Peters      ♥

You are still missed and

fondly remembered.

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