For: Carli Mill’s Carrot Ranch, #99WordStories and the January 24, 2022, prompt:
In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story about “the wish I made.”
“There you are Kathleen. No — don’t say a word. Just rest and hear me out.
“Recall our chaotic romance at age 15 and my saying that you were a wish come true? How often you said, “You wished for this,” before leading us into some new havoc? You were audacious, wayward, irreverent, unpredictable — and our relationship — it became a meteorite burning bright but burning quickly out.
“Hang-gliders to alcohol — you wanted to do it all.
“I read of your overdose on-line, prayed for your family’s loss — and wished that my wife — was more like you. “


Gary, you certainly hit the mark with creating a vivid and entertaining story. You use punctuation to pace the story and that’s a brilliant craft choice in short fiction. If you know where Tres Pinos is, you know where was born (about 3 hours south of Petaluma). You’ve had an interesting career.
Thank you for your submission to the Collection at Carrot Ranch. It will publish Wednesday, February 2.
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Thanks Charli for your gracious welcome to the ranch and kind feedback. I recently bought a Kindle copy of Rough Riders to soak up the tempo of 99 word stories but that first one still had a lot of fun stuff before I cut it down to what you read. I’m thrilled that it passed muster.
All the best as you make and unfold your future plans for the ranch.
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I love 99 word posts and this was a great one Gary. Great use of the prompt and as always your ending packed a punch and I sat back fast with an “OH!”
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Hi Shari.
You are so kind. Thanks for this feedback.
If you’d like one more 99-word adventure, you might like this one too.
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Hi Shari.
You are so kind. Thanks for this feedback.
If you’d like one more 99-word adventure, you might like this one too.
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That was a real twist at the end. Sad ending for Kathleen. And an interesting line about the author wanting his wife to be like Kathleen. You told the whole story.
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I enjoyed this one Gary! The photo is incredibly scary with the huge spider as I have arachnophobia, I just hate (okay, strong word, dislike very much spiders. Lol – 🙃) but I just looked past it and was thankful it’s just a photo! 😊
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99 words, wow! I read it a few times it was that good, and that short. Great use of words.
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Hi Alex and thanks.
So many have urged me to join the carrot ranch effort and I was afraid because i can be so verbose by default. But it has so far proved to be both fun and rigorous to produce these little gems. So far so good and your feedback made my morning.
You may have noticed that I’m also a sucker for dialog only pieces.
It all but cripples the verbose narrator in me.
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Oof, that ending hit hard. Well done! And the topic resonated with me this week–an example of interesting timing/coincidence in my life.
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Why thank you.
I really wasn’t sure about this one but was out of time fussing with it and. After exchanging just one. Okay. Two more words. Just let it go as was. But it’s been well received and by folks I know some and respect so maybe I can do these short things.
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Agreeing with the others, this was an effective flash. I find the 99 words an excellent exercise in puzzling a story down to its core. I liked the twist at the end of this and wonder, is it that he wished his wife was more exciting or that she was dead?
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LOL
If I had a mouth full of something,
I would have spewed. . .
Lord – that was funny!
Thanks DA.
You just made my day.
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An excellently trimmed flash. You kept all the good bits and punched with your last line.
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Hi Ellen,
Thanks for giving it a read and the great feedback. You give me hope that I might figure this out yet.
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looks figured to me.
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Wow! The depth of emotion in this story grabbed me! I got goosebumps at the ending. This was brilliant! ❤
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Hi Colleen,
Wow – you just made my day.
Thank you so much both for reading it and letting me know how it worked for you.
Consider yourself invited to try out any of my stories from my story blog.
I try to deliver great reading in a variety of formats. For example: here’s one that is a favorite for hysterical laughing out loud.
https://garyawilsonstories.wordpress.com/the-inner-tube-adventure/
Regardless, I’m so glad you found this story today.
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Thanks, Gary! I will check out your stories. ❤
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Great story, Gary. Love the nostalgia. Sometimes we want both but have to choose.
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Hi Anne, Thank you for both giving my story some of your time and for your kind feedback. I think many of us have had a similar relationship that was this striking and perhaps even dangerous, but still had some element that got and kept our attention. It was that memory I was trying to tickle.
I’m so pleased that you liked it.
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Ah, what a great story and an unexpected conclusion.
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Hey Sam. Thanks for the great feedback. I wasn’t real sure what I was doing but when that ending occurred to me, I couldn’t not use it.
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I like it how sometimes our writing guides us instead of us it.
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Scary true Sam. . .
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I’m not sure about the intent of that final wish, Gary. It could be interpreted a number of ways. That’s a good thing with flash fiction. Keep us wondering.
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A sad story that touches on the excitement of young love. Great ending. I’ve just read a book that explored that concept of who we choose for a life partner – the exciting or the predictable and what are we ourselves.
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Thank you Irene.
I try to provoke such thoughts but 99 is such a small number where words are involved. We must depend a lot on our readers filling in the gaps.
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